Short Story Framing Statement
When I wrote the short story “Anahita,” I had the whole story planned out. I knew what scene I would write them in, their names, what the goddess looked like, and the importance of the eel. Then I went from what I had planned next. I would research to make the story sound a bit realistic. After the first page, I started to go braindead until we were assigned a peer review for the first draft. There was one comment that changed everything. “I want to know Anahita on a personal level, how about using inner dialogue?” I gave Anahita personality and relatable traits. That is when the second draft came out.
I added a new character, God. Using God as a character came up from a joke I made about the origins of the name Angel Cake. There was going to be a part of the story that would include God bothering his daughter with an angel cake because she hasn’t spoken to him in so long. There was also a plan for Sirens, but that was before I read the book “Bird by Bird.” Anne Lamott mentioned that you shouldn’t write the story, let the story write itself. From there on, I wrote from the characters’ perspectives. The story changed from a forbidden romance to why the goddess is there and Anahita’s origin.
Writing the flashback was the best part. I let my imagination fly while writing it. Also, here’s a fun fact, I gave the goddess the name Anahita because I thought it was a beautiful name, and then one day I decided to look up her name for fun, I learned that Anahita was known as the goddess of all water.
Anahita First Draft
Many years ago, lived an oceanic goddess who had the power to control the ocean. Her job was to support and protect any body of water. She did this with a flick of a finger, and each finger commanded a specific part important to maintaining the bodies of water. To humans, this job sounds like a meager energy task. However, the goddess worked day and night to prepare for the upcoming lifeforms’ arrival. Us humans call these lifeforms Marine creatures.
The marine animals started to appear out of thin air, and the goddess felt great joy. Each creature marveled in the ocean’s radiance, and creatures who lived in other bodies of water were ecstatic about the algae and seaweed. The fish wanted to tell the goddess how thankful they were, but they were unable to. Over time the fish that swam close to the goddess began to speak. The goddess was not surprised as she expected this outcome. They thanked her for the power of speech and gave the goddess a name, this name was Anahita.
The fish would stay by her side for decades, and eventually, they began looking more like the goddess. This continued for the past months until they became a new species known as mermaids and mermen. At first, the transformed fish panicked; they started apologizing for looking similar to the goddess expecting Anahita to be angry. However, Anahita smiled and said to the merfolk to never apologize for how they look. Each creature looked at the goddess in awe. The mermaids began to worship and serve Anahita as if she was their queen.
Eventually, the mermaids and mermen decided that Anahita should become the queen of merpeople. However, the goddess had no interest in becoming queen, she only wanted to focus on protecting every body of water. However, when she denied the offer, Anahita immediately felt a great pain in her soul. For every mermaid and merman became distraught with sadness, this gave the goddess a new feeling, guilt. Overwhelmed with this new emotion, Anahita immediately revoked her previous answer. Every mermaid and merman waited eagerly for her response; the goddess wanting the new feeling to stop accepted her new title as queen of the merpeople.
A few years later, the merpeople started to create a society with jobs such as cave and rock designers, barbers, clothing designers, teachers, seaweed farmers, fish breeders, and more. This did not lessen work for the goddess though, she still needs to organize fish, maintain sea plants, create large rocks for fish, observe sharks and marine mammals breeding, and so much more. Even with her work increasing, the goddess never stressed; her mood stayed calm, calm as a river is what the merpeople referred to the goddess.
Anahita Flashback Prompt
Before creating the universe, there was only God. He would spend decades creating shapes, smells, and purposes for every piece of the world. One day when God was working, he was suddenly interrupted with a vision of the future. He saw himself tired and overwhelmed over a new creation. Changing his future, God decided to create a being who will wield half of his powers. Grabbing a clay-like substance from a nearby cloud, God began to shape the being with his hands, God decided to make this creature in his image, but with a few additional changes. He lessened the height, shrunk the arm size, gave the face a softer look, and more. God looked at his creation and said, “You will be known as a female, but there is still more work to be done on you.” Pulling premade hair from a recently made planet, God changed the hair from a dark red to light gold with streaks of a lighter blonde and placed each strand on her blank statuelike form. Adding two eyes, and with a tap of color, his daughter was born.
The small goddess was created to be 3 years old because he wanted his daughter to have a head start in knowledge. The being opened her eyes and spoke her first word, “Beard!” the child said while tugging on God’s white beard. “Beard!” the small goddess repeated, God was expecting her first word to be Dada, but he’s not complaining. “Close enough,” God said. He watched the tiny curious goddess tug on clouds, taste molding clay, and jump around. God, with a sudden realization, snapped his fingers to create a kitchen entirely made of clouds, God wanted to celebrate her birth with a new food invention.
“Clouds?” the child thought as she watched her father create a brand new invention. The young goddess was filled with curiosity, “Clouds… Clouds… Clouds!” she realized, picking a piece of cloud underneath her. She started to pick at each cloud, revealing the ingredients God used to create creatures. As any child would, she flattened the clay and carved a snake-like animal. “Eelisa!” the child cheered, proud of her creation, grabbed the figure, and ran to God. “Another success!” God said to himself, “Now, to summon my child.” Taking a medium breath, he called the young goddess, “Come to th-” interrupted by a small poke on his back, God looked down to see the young goddess; he child had run into her father’s back.
Worried about his child, God asked if she was hurt. The child unphased from the impact smiled, and yelled, “Eelisa!” God was confused until the child held up a small figure. “What’s that?” God asked in a playful tone. The child placed a small statue of a snake-like creature in her father’s hands. “Hmm…, what was the name you gave it?” The young goddess shouted, “Eelisa!” God answered his child with a laugh, Eelisa is a bit long…how about Eel?” “Eel, Eel, Eel!” the child jumped and cheered around the kitchen. “These creatures will be named Eel!” The child looked at her father, baffled, “Creatures?” God cupped his hands to reveal life’s creative process, “That looks hard!” the goddess complained. God responded with, “It is a hard job, and you will master this skill one day.” God placed the figure in his child’s hands and said with a sweet smile, “You already are.”
The goddess stared at her father in admiration, and then immediately got distracted by the cake. God grabbed the cake with both hands, sat on the cloud floor with his daughter, and created a chair with the words Happy Life Day carved on the back, “I created a cake to celebrate your birth!” The young goddess looked at the cake, it was pure white with a tiny angel on top. The child looked at her father with gleaming eyes, but then God pointed at the cake again. The goddess thought that the hand gesture meant to eat the cake with no mercy, this was not the case. She looked at the cake to see letters on her cake. “Is it rotting?” the child asked in a worried tone, God gave a small chuckle, “No, it’s your name.”
The goddess paused and asked, “What’s a name?” “A name is what confirms your existence in any world; without a name, you would have no ability of speech, and one day I will give you a world.” The child responded in confusion, Why can I talk?” God smiled and said, “Anahita, I knew what name to give you the second you opened your eyes.” Anahita locked eyes with her father and devoured the cake in front of him. “I’m glad you enjoyed the Angel Cake…did you leave any for me?” Anahita nodded and opened her hand to reveal a crumb, “… Greed is your first lesson topic.” Anahita smiled and ate the morsel with a thumbs up. “She has a lot to learn.” God thought to himself.
Anahita Mezzo Draft
Before creating the universe, there was only God. He would spend decades to create shapes, smells, and purposes for every piece of the world. However, over time, God foresaw a future that showed himself becoming tired and overwhelmed over with water creation. To stop this outcome, he decided to create a creature that would help him create water and other resources in the future. With a cloud-like substance, God began to shape the being with his hands, God decided to make this creature in his image with additional changes. He lessened the height, shrunk the arm size, gave the face a softer look, and more. God looked at his creation and said, “You will be known as a female, but there is still more work to be done on you.” Pulling out leftover hair from a recently made planet, God changed the hair from a dark red to light gold with streaks of a lighter blonde and placed each strand on her blank statuelike form. Adding two eyes, and with a tap of color, his daughter was born.
Many years ago, lived an oceanic goddess who had the power to control the ocean. Her job was to support and protect any body of water. She did this with a flick of a finger, and each finger commanded a specific part important to maintaining the bodies of water. To humans, this job sounds like a meager energy task. However, the goddess worked day and night to prepare for the upcoming lifeforms’ arrival. Us humans call these lifeforms Marine creatures.
The marine animals started to appear out of thin air, and the goddess felt great joy. Each creature marveled in the ocean’s radiance, and creatures who lived in other bodies of water were ecstatic about the algae and seaweed. The fish wanted to tell the goddess how thankful they were, but they were unable to. Over time the fish that swam close to the goddess began to speak. The goddess was not surprised as she expected this outcome. They thanked her for the power of speech and gave the goddess a name, this name was Anahita.
The fish would stay by her side for decades, and eventually, they began looking more like the goddess. This continued for the past months until they became a new species known as mermaids and mermen. At first, the transformed fish panicked; they started apologizing for looking similar to the goddess expecting Anahita to be angry. However, Anahita smiled and said to the merfolk, “Never apologize for how you look.” Each creature looked at the goddess in awe. The mermaids began to worship and serve Anahita as if she was their queen.
Eventually, the mermaids and mermen decided that Anahita should become the queen of merpeople. However, the goddess had no interest in becoming queen, she only wanted to focus on protecting every body of water. However, when she denied the offer, Anahita immediately felt a great pain in her soul. Every mermaid and merman became distraught with sadness; this gave the goddess a new feeling, guilt. Overwhelmed with this new emotion, Anahita immediately revoked her previous answer. Every mermaid and merman waited eagerly for her response; the goddess wanting the new feeling to stop accepted her new title as queen of the merpeople.
A few years later, the merpeople started to create a society with jobs such as cave and rock designers, barbers, clothing designers, teachers, seaweed farmers, fish breeders, and more. This did not lessen work for the goddess though, she still needs to organize fish, maintain sea plants, create large rocks for fish, observe sharks and marine mammals breeding, etc. Even with her work increasing, the goddess never stressed; her mood stayed calm, calm as a river is what the merpeople referred to the goddess.
However, when the goddess heard this phrase, all she could think was how she wasn’t always as calm as a river, until that one day. She can still recall that one particular day when she received a message from her father and creator God. He informed her about a species being made in his and Anahita’s image. Curious, she asked, “What are you going to name them?” God said that the creatures will be known as humans, Anahita, about to ask about an increase of work, gets cut off by God, “The humans love war and attack what they don’t understand.” Anahita, about to speak, gets cut off by God again, “Anahita, you will face emotional challenges that no creature can endure.” This comment scared Anahita, and then he spoke again, “I will train you, but if this becomes too difficult, let me know, and I’ll bring you back home while I take on your job.” Anahita, with a nod, tells God she’s ready.
God trained Anahita in person for two years, each day more painful than the last. Anahita was taught to keep herself calm no matter the dire situation, enduring the loss of merpeople, erasing the memories of the merpeople who have fallen in love with humans, destroying anyone who gets close to her kingdom, and more horrific trials. She remembers her last emotion of happiness leaving her. Then God made one final comment, Anahita, you stayed calm in terrible situations, and I am so proud. I have created a room to release your emotions because showing no emotion to others is exhausting, never disregard your feelings.” Anahita sitting on her throne, started to feel sadness and regret from this memory but quickly disregarded them. Anahita ignored God’s advice and blocked her emotions, “I have to stay calm, I don’t have a choice.”
Anahita Final Draft
Before creating the universe, there was only God. He would spend decades creating shapes, smells, and purposes for every piece of the world. One day when God was working, he was suddenly interrupted with a vision of the future. He saw himself tired and overwhelmed over a new creation. Changing his future, God decided to create a being who will wield half of his powers. Grabbing a clay-like substance from a nearby cloud, God began to shape the being with his hands, God decided to make this creature in his image, but with a few additional changes. He lessened the height, shrunk the arm size, gave the face a softer look, and more. God looked at his creation and said, “You will be known as a female, but there is still more work to be done on you.” Pulling premade hair from a recently made planet, God changed the hair from a dark red to light gold with streaks of a lighter blonde and placed each strand on her blank statuelike form. Adding two eyes, and with a tap of color, his daughter was born.
The small goddess was created to be 3 years old because he wanted his daughter to have a head start in knowledge. The being opened her eyes and spoke her first word, “Beard!” the child said while tugging on God’s white beard. “Beard!” the small goddess repeated, God was expecting her first word to be Dada, but he’s not complaining. “Close enough,” God said. He watched the tiny curious goddess tug on clouds, taste molding clay, and jump around. God, with a sudden realization, snapped his fingers to create a kitchen entirely made of clouds, God wanted to celebrate her birth with a new food invention.
“Clouds?” the child thought as she watched her father create a brand new invention. The young goddess was filled with curiosity, “Clouds… Clouds… Clouds!” she realized, picking a piece of cloud underneath her. She started to pick at each cloud, revealing the ingredients God used to create creatures. As any child would, she flattened the clay and carved a snake-like animal. “Eelisa!” the child cheered, proud of her creation, grabbed the figure, and ran to God. “Another success!” God said to himself, “Now, to summon my child.” Taking a medium breath, he called the young goddess, “Come to th-” interrupted by a small poke on his back, God looked down to see the young goddess; the child had run into her father’s back.
Worried about his child, God asked if she was hurt. The child unphased from the impact smiled, and yelled, “Eelisa!” God was confused until the child held up a small figure. “What’s that?” God asked in a playful tone. The child placed a small statue of a snake-like creature in her father’s hands. “Hmm…, what was the name you gave it?” The young goddess shouted, “Eelisa!” God answered his child with a laugh, Eelisa is a bit long…how about Eel?” “Eel, Eel, Eel!” the child jumped and cheered around the kitchen. “These creatures will be named Eel!” The child looked at her father, baffled, “Creatures?” God cupped his hands to reveal life’s creative process, “That looks hard!” the goddess complained. God responded with, “It is a hard job, and you will master this skill one day.” God placed the figure in his child’s hands and said with a sweet smile, “You already are.”
The goddess stared at her father in admiration, and then immediately got distracted by the cake. God grabbed the cake with both hands, sat on the cloud floor with his daughter, and created a chair with the words Happy Life Day carved on the back, “I created a cake to celebrate your birth!” The young goddess looked at the cake, it was pure white with a tiny angel on top. The child looked at her father with gleaming eyes, but then God pointed at the cake again. The goddess thought that the hand gesture meant to eat the cake with no mercy, this was not the case. She looked at the cake to see letters on her cake. “Is it rotting?” the child asked in a worried tone, God gave a small chuckle, “No, it’s your name.”
The goddess paused and asked, “What’s a name?” “A name is what confirms your existence in any world; without a name, you would have no ability of speech, and one day I will give you a world.” The child responded in confusion, “Why can I talk?” God smiled and said, “Anahita, I knew what name to give you the second you opened your eyes.” Anahita locked eyes with her father and devoured the cake in front of him. “I’m glad you enjoyed the Angel Cake…did you leave any for me?” Anahita nodded and opened her hand to reveal a crumb, “… Greed is your first lesson topic.” Anahita smiled and ate the morsel with a thumbs up. “She has a lot to learn.” God thought to himself.
Many years later, an unnamed oceanic goddess who had the power to control the ocean was rumored among every land animal. The goddess walked along the shoreline rarely because she was given a job by God himself. Her job was to support and protect any body of water. She did this with a flick of a finger, and each finger commanded a specific part important to maintaining the bodies of water. To humans, this job sounds like a meager energy task. However, the goddess worked day and night to prepare for the upcoming lifeforms’ arrival. Us humans call these lifeforms marine creatures.
The marine animals started to appear out of thin air, and the goddess felt great joy. Each creature marveled in the ocean’s radiance, and creatures who lived in other bodies of water were ecstatic about the algae and seaweed. The fish wanted to tell the goddess how thankful they were, but they were unable to. Over time the fish that swam close to the goddess began to speak. The goddess was not surprised as she expected this outcome. They thanked her for the power of speech and gave the goddess a name, this name was Anahita.
The fish would stay by her side for decades, and eventually, they began looking more like the goddess. This continued for months, until they became a new species known as mermaids and mermen. At first, the transformed fish panicked; they started apologizing for looking similar to the goddess expecting Anahita to be angry. However, Anahita smiled and said to the merfolk, “Never apologize for how you look.” Each creature looked at the goddess in awe. The mermaids began to worship and serve Anahita as if she was their queen.
Eventually, the mermaids and mermen decided that Anahita should become the queen of merpeople. However, the goddess had no interest in becoming queen, she only wanted to focus on protecting every body of water. However, when she denied the offer, Anahita immediately felt a great pain in her soul. Every mermaid and merman became distraught with sadness; this gave the goddess a new feeling, guilt. Overwhelmed with this new emotion, Anahita immediately revoked her previous answer. Every mermaid and merman waited eagerly for her response; the goddess wanting the new feeling to stop, and accepted her new title as queen of the merpeople.
A few years later, the merpeople started to create a society with jobs such as cave and rock designers, barbers, clothing designers, teachers, seaweed farmers, fish breeders, soldiers, and doctors. This did not lessen work for Anahita though, she still needed to organize fish, maintain sea plants, create large rocks for fish, observe sharks and marine mammals breeding, and form trenches. Even with her work increasing, the goddess never stressed; her mood stayed calm, calm as a river is what the merpeople referred to the goddess.
However, when the goddess heard this phrase, all she could think was how she wasn’t always as calm as a river, until that one day. She can still recall that one particular day when she received a message from her father and creator, God. He informed her about a species being made in his and Anahita’s image. Curious, she asked, “What are you going to name them?” God said that the creatures will be known as humans, Anahita, about to ask about an increase of work, was cut off by God, “The humans love war and attack what they don’t understand.” Anahita, about to speak, gets cut off by God again, “Anahita, you will face emotional challenges that no creature can endure.” This comment scared Anahita, and then he spoke again, “I will train you, but if this becomes too difficult, let me know, and I’ll bring you back home while I take on your job.” Anahita, with a nod, tells God she’s ready.
God trained Anahita in person for two years, each day more painful than the last. Anahita was taught to keep herself calm no matter the dire situation, enduring the loss of merpeople, erasing the memories of the merpeople who have fallen in love with humans, destroying anyone who gets close to her kingdom, and more horrific trials. She remembered her last emotion of happiness leaving her. Then God made one final comment, “Anahita, you stayed calm in terrible situations, and I am so proud. I have created a room to release your emotions because showing no emotion to others is exhausting, never disregard your feelings.” Anahita sitting on her throne, started to feel sadness and regret from her memory but quickly disregarded them. Anahita ignored God’s advice and blocked her emotions, “I have to stay calm, and I can’t show weakness because if I do, father would never trust me again.” I don’t have a choice, not this time.”Anahita felt a small poke on her back, looking back she noticed a small eel. “Did you run into me, and are you ok?” The eel nodded and wrapped themselves onto the Goddesses arm. I’m going to name you Eelisa she said smiling at the eel. The eel smiled back with her mouth open. Little did Anahita know, this interaction would change her life forever.
Poetry Framing Statement
When I wrote the poem “The Retreat,” I was greatly inspired by the book “Ordinary Genius.” I remember reading the chapter “First thought, worst thought,” and on page 28, a section talked about how poetry has a musical element in it. I used this advice to write this poem and others. I would count the syllables for each line and then make a little song out of it. If the music flows, then the poem flows. I recited every line and verse out loud until I finally hear the rhythm. Once I find that rhythm, the rest of the poem becomes lyrics to me. The rhymes and words for the next verse started coming to me naturally.
The poem ‘The retreat” was about an essential high school retreat. The trip influenced a few parts of the third verse; everyone was pledged never to tell others about the trip. I used that phrasing because I wanted to give the readers a sense of mystery and let their imagination run wild. That is why the fourth verse was not about what happened on the real retreat, but what the product of the trip was. In this case, the result was using the phone less and realizing you can have a life outside of the phone.
The few days I participated in changed my life drastically, and now I live in the moment. If a beautiful rainbow appeared, I would put my phone away to enjoy the moment of the rainbow without worrying about drama on social media. Since then, I have also become more aware of my surroundings, causing me to find entertainment almost everywhere. When I was near the end of the poem, I suddenly recalled how short stories have a lesson to them, so I inserted a lesson in the poem. I saw this specific poem as a little short story, so I added how this changed my life and why once in a while, you should put the phone away and learn to see things from a different perspective.
First Draft
The Retreat
My phone in hand, the clock turned to four
I was still tired from the night before
I texted my friends I will arrive
The gear shifted from park to
Drive
Sitting in the car my thoughts and suspicions began to unfold
We were close to my school in Hollywood
Texting my friends the amount of time left
We had finally stopped at our destination
Cold
I left the car to say goodbye and went on a large school bus
My friend and I listened to music to block others fuss
We Naruto ran into the tipi of seniors to get our bag check
All electronics taken away the retreat we are banned to
Discuss
At the end we all cried like we needed each other to survive
Recieving the phone in the end I had felt alive
I use the phone for music only a pencil is all I need
I limit my use of technology which helps me
Thrive
Final Draft
The Retreat
My phone in hand, the clock turned to four
I was still tired from the night before
I texted my friends I will arrive
The gear shifted from park to
Drive
Sitting in the car my thoughts and suspicions began to unfold
We were close to my school in Hollywood
Texting my friends the amount of time left
We had finally stopped at our destination
Cold
I left the car to say goodbye and went on a large school bus
My friend and I listened to music to block others fuss
We Naruto ran into a tipi of seniors to get our bags checked
All electronics taken away the retreat we were banned to
Discuss
In the end, we all cried like we needed each other to survive
Receiving my phone at the end I had felt alive
I use the phone for music only a pencil is all I need
I now limit use of technology which helps me
Thrive
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